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Yikes. This cartoon will really strike home for you.

Yikes. This cartoon will really strike home for you.

October 05, 2011

The best cartoons give us a rare insight into our society in a creative, thought-provoking and yet funny way and this one does just that.

I busted out laughing as soon as I saw it!

It's so true. Many of us now have close to 1,000 channels to choose from on our big-screen, hi-def TVs and there's still 'nothing good on.' And many of us are paying $50, $76 or more than $100 a month for that garbage! So what do the smart TV producers do? They create more of the same! More garbage!

We're being fed garbage all the time. And guess what? We're consuming it.
Here's another one of my favorites. Take a look at the headline for this Rolex watch.

What's the message? Strive for greatness? Buy a watch and you'll achieve greatness. What a load of bunk! It's a crock and we're buying into all the time.

Are you kidding me? Buy a watch and you'll achieve greatness? We're being fed a load of bunk! Keep reading to find out how you can celebrate a "real" achievement.

In her book, Mutant Message from Down Under, Marlo Morgan creates an account (apparently fictional) of how she lived with a group of Aborigines from Australia to learn about their culture, but we learn more about our own. When asked about our culture in America she describes how we celebrate birthdays with gifts and a cake filled mostly with air and yeast smothered with sweet icing.

They're amazed that we go to such great lengths to hold a celebration for something in which we really didn't accomplish anything. Our claim to fame? We got another year older.

But there are times when we truly should celebrate an achievement. The celebration is easy. Achieving the goal is the tough part! (Even though most entrepreneurs don't ever stop to celebrate, it's just, grind, grind, grind. 'If you keep your nose to the grindstone'.' ' all you get is a flat nose!) Achieving business and life goals is something we work on with our clients every day and we've learned a few secrets ' one of which will shock you. Plus, I also have a celebration gift for you, a free Goal Launcher Coaching Program CLICK HERE.

But first, allow me to share one small personal accomplishment...

No, I'm not a hand model. But here is the rubber band I've been wearing for the last 4 months to remind me of my goal to go 21 days without complaining.

You may recall that I've been on a quest recently to quit complaining. I vowed to go 21 straight days without uttering a single complaint, I was inspired by Will Bowen, who launched the initiative, A Complaint Free World. As a reminder I wore a rubber band on my wrist. If I caught myself complaining ' or if my kids or my wife or anyone else I knew caught me complaining ' I had to switch the rubber band to my other wrist and start all over again.

It's not easy. In fact, it took me 4 months! Just when I was getting close, I screwed up. And I had to begin again with day one. But just this week I finally achieved my goal. My wife is happier because I complain a lot less and my team at work seems a lot happier too not hearing me complain about issues.

Truth be told, however, I don't want to take off my rubber band. It's become part of who I am. It's gotten a lot of attention. People ask me about it and when I explain why I wear the rubber band they're impressed. The symbol of it and the fact that it made me look good made me feel good ' and that's the WRONG reason to wear it. I realized I can't give into my ego. I need to move on.

But I also realize that I learned several secrets about achieving goals that we see with our own clients. Ready for a shocker? This is totally counter intuitive so follow closely. I didn't tell very many people when I first began this project. If you're serious about accomplishing a goal, keep it to yourself. This may surprise you. According to research if you want to be successful don't tell everyone about your goals!*

Conventional wisdom has always said that if you have a goal in mind to lose weight or exercise more than you should tell others so they can help keep you on track. THIS IS A HUGE MYTH!

The more you tell people about your goal the less likely you'll achieve it. Why? Because studies have shown that as you tell more people you actually begin to believe that you're getting closer to accomplishing your goal simply by talking about it ' even though you haven't done anything. You start to taste that sweet icing that comes with the celebration without accomplishing a single thing.

That's the catch, when you tell people about your goal, you actually think that you are accomplishing it. But those who don't blabber about it are more likely to achieve their goals.

But wait! You'd also be making a HUGE MISTAKE if you don't share your goals with anyone. The secret is who you share them with!

Here are the BEST METHODS of actually achieving your goals:

  • Create visible cues to help hold you accountable. The rubber band is a great example of this. It was a constant reminder for myself and others close to me about my goal. If I got off track, I had to take an action and switch the rubber band from one wrist to another.
  • Give yourself a 'safe space' where you can talk about the frustrations and challenges of achieving your goal. If it's a goal worth achieving, it's not going to be easy. Find people who care about you 'without judging you ' who will listen to you and support you, which brings me to my next two points...
  • Work with a coach. A coach is someone who can help you 'process' your feelings. Just spewing your feelings to someone isn't useful. Most people are so bothered by complaining because it's like being around people who are vomiting all of their stuff all over everybody all the time. It's just complaining which just gets you more worked up. Instead, a coach will listen and help you move forward. WARNING: Friends are NOT coaches. They may have the best intentions but they usually want to fix things ' and not necessarily listen. Guys take note: Ever hear a woman say, 'Can't you just listen?' Sometimes the best thing you need is for someone to listen.
  • Turn to a mentor. A mentor is someone you can turn to who you trust, respect and you value their 'advice or opinion.' During this process I had a few mentors I could turn to and help me sort through my frustrations and help me work out solutions.

 

Mentorship is one of the most valuable things we offer our own clients because we work hard to create a safe space in which they can get honest and open feedback.

Here's a weird but effective tip: If you just need to vent or get something off your chest try dictating it. I use a service called Copy Talk in which I record whatever is bothering me.

I'm sure there's some woman in Nebraska who could tell you about all my crazy rants. What's amazing is how the frustration we feel loses its power as we talk it out. And it almost looks silly later when you read a transcription of it! But when it's all pent up inside it looms large.

So am I cured of complaining? Not hardly. I still have a desire to complain and perhaps more than ever. I want to, which tells me that I still need to keep at it and rely on my mentors to help sort through my frustrations. But I'm working on it.

Just this week I almost missed a flight. I set my alarm for 5:15am, woke up early and told myself I'd lie in bed for another 5 minutes ' 45 minutes later I woke up with a start, realized I had overslept and raced out the door to catch my plane. Sure enough, there was a major backup on the highway so I had to tell myself that if I was late, I'd accept it.

There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't clear the road of traffic. I couldn't drive any faster. I made peace with the situation. I made a conscious decision to let go of the things I couldn't control and focus on the things I could control.

Complaining wouldn't help the situation. There was nothing I could do. I was much more relaxed and ended up arriving at the airport with plenty of time to spare.

So what's my next challenge? Not sure yet. Maybe patience. As I've tried to rid myself of complaining I realize just how much other people complain. Listen for it sometime. It's not hard. I find myself feeling pretty judgmental and want to tell them, 'Shut up and stop complaining.' But you can't judge a person until you walk a mile in their moccasins.

Looks like there's always something else to work on. And that's my point. This is about progress, not perfection. The most successful people in business go from challenge to challenge. They continually pick one strategic project at a time to work on. They hit it, accomplish it and then move on to the next. But most entrepreneurs simply meander and are overwhelmed by the magnitude of things that must be accomplished.

Use the secrets I described to help you achieve your next 21 day goal. When you do ' celebrate it! Celebrate the choices you made to become a better person. Confidence builds successful businesses. You must protect your confidence. The best way to do it is to set a 21 day goal and accomplish it.

In celebration of achieving the 21 day No Complaining goal we have a special gift for you. For the first 10 people who respond, we'll help you clarify and accomplish your next 21 day goal. It will be a 21 day sprint. We'll help you get there.

So what's important to you? What have you been wanting to do for a long time but haven't quite pulled it off. Well, if you want to make a difference in your business and your life get our FREE 21-Day Goal Launcher Program when you CLICK HERE. Or simply give us a call at 410-235-7070. Your goal could be a sales activity, a marketing activity, a personal improvement trait such as arriving on time or exercising ' whatever matters most to you. You see we only make a change when the pain is great enough or the pay off is great enough.

The point is, if you're committed to making a change that will help you grow, with the right clarity and commitment you can do it.

Always taking you from where you are to where you want to go,

Jon

Jon Goldman, President