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Old Habits Die Hard, But Here's One Way to Finally Put Them in Their Grave - it Really Does Work

Old Habits Die Hard, But Here's One Way to Finally Put Them in Their Grave - it Really Does Work

July 22, 2009

Who's supporting you? I'm always giving you advice to help you get unstuck, change your way of being and get control of your life and you may even try a few of the tips I give. But then a breakdown occurs. And soon you're back to your old habits. Why? Because you never had someone to support YOU!

Don't worry, I'm guilty of it too. But the biggest thing I've found that has helped me ' and my clients ' is this: Find a 'safe' person whom you can trust who will be there to support you. What's a 'safe' person? It's someone who you can openly talk with about your old way of being ' your old destructive habits that you're trying to change. It's someone who won't judge you or use your vulnerability against you.

Take my friend 'Zach', for instance.* He was going through a particularly tough time in his marriage and at his business where it seemed like one good person after another was leaving. It wasn't until one of his business partners had a meltdown that he finally learned what others around him had been feeling: Zach only seemed to care about money.

'You don't care about anyone unless they can make you money!' his partner yelled. 'You know nothing about any of the employees or any of the partners we do business with. The only thing you care about is how much value they can bring to you. So nothing is ever enough!'

 

His obsession to making money was beginning to sabotage what had been a very profitable business. When his partner threatened to leave, he finally asked me to be a mentor. We met several times a week and talked on the phone quite often for a period of 21 days. For him, I was somebody he could turn to when dealing with difficult situations at work such as the printing error that cost him $20,000. Once he realized that the same person who made the error saved him 5 times that in just the last 12 months, he accepted the mistake as a cost of doing business. Today, he continues to take more of an interest in the people around him and he's actively involved with a non-profit food bank (that was his idea that I fully supported).

Old habits die hard, as the saying goes. So the key is to find someone who will support you and not judge you. You'll be surprised how many people will actually be willing ' even honored! ' to do this for you. All you have to do is ask. Who can you ask to support you?

*****

*The exact name and circumstances are of course changed to protect our client and will never leave our safe space or allow for a breach of confidentiality. But I thought it was important for you to learn from this scenario.